Finding your purpose in life seems like a monumental task. Most people ask, “What are your goals?”  But just listing a bunch of goals and pursuing them isn’t going to lead to long-term satisfaction or happiness. Instead, when you make a goal graph, you actually ARE finding your purpose because there are low-level, mid-level, and top-level goals; and figuring out which is which sets you on the right path.

This is a methodical approach featured in the book Grit, by Angela Duckworth.

The first step is to make a list of all your current goals.  On my low-level goal graph, I list Write a book, Give a TEDx Talk, and Find a developer, to name a few.

For the second step, take each of these low level goals and ask the question, “What am I hoping to get by doing this?”  Then, cluster the ones that fall under the same mid-level goal. For me, Find a web developer and Organize a conference both contribute to the goal of Developing an automated coach.  My other two mid-level goals are Expand 1-on-1 coaching, and Deepen friendships & go on more adventures.  

For the third step, repeat the same procedure and ask, “What am I’m hoping to get from each of these three mid-level goals.  As it turns out, in my goal graph all the mid-level goals contribute to my ultimate goal of Experience connections & help others do the same.

What does this goal hierarchy do for you you may ask?  Well, this framework gives us a shortcut for making decisions about quitting or sticking with certain activities, options, jobs, etc.  It allows us to quit with a flourish and stick with persistence. For example, maybe your top-level goal is to Help teenagers achieve happiness and you work at both the local community center and the homeless shelter. If you find you don’t have enough time for both, you can quit working at the homeless shelter without guilt and put more energy into the community center because those activities will lead you to your top-level goal. Essentially, once you know where you want to go, you can quit without being a quitter, while pursuing your purpose with direction.

Having this goal hierarchy also let’s us be more resilient.  For example, if for some reason, I could not be a career coach anymore, although I would be upset at first, at the end of the day, there are other ways to satisfy my top level goal.  I might become a professional matchmaker or a marriage counselor, both of which also help people experience connections. Similarly, if the hypothetical community center shut down, the hypothetical you could enroll in a part-time program to become a guidance counselor, while working a day job to make ends meet.  You would still have your purpose, be working toward it, and know that even if the temporary job was not ideal, it was a means to your ultimate end.

In general, the higher up a goal is located on your goal hierarchy, the more committed you want to be to it.  For the goal that sits on top of everything, you want to be 100% committed because that’s the core of who you are.  Beyond that, you can be flexible about how to get there.